Why some people are married but still single
Marriage is actually supposed to be the appropriate way of having an ideal family relationship, but these days some men just decide to live single and have their children. It is sad that a man may have nothing to lose unlike the woman.
Sometimes some women are single mothers; many reasons could also bring about such situations. When you look around the world today, you find out that there are many single men and women who are married. Many claim that certain circumstances beyond them forced them into such situations, while others are actually doing so by choice.
Below are some respondents who were asked to share in this topic:
“It was exactly in 2003 that I became a married bachelor. That was when my wife left me to live in the United States. I presently stay in Ghana in the continent of Africa. When my wife left for the United States, after winning the US visa lottery, initially I felt relieved because I had expected that within two years, all of us would be living together, but that could not happen. I did not have any job doing at the time she traveled. After seven months she began to send home something to sustain me and the kids. But after many years we are still apart. Some time ago I was able to get a job, but it has really not been easy with me. You may not know what it means for a married man to be living alone for many years and not fall into temptation. I have had all kinds of women throw themselves at me, because they believe that I can never live with my wife again. Some friends and relatives have advised me to move on because my wife would have moved on since. There are no kinds of women that have not been arranged for me and some have practically forced themselves on me. But I know that my wife is still with me, because we talk regularly and she sends things to me and my children who have been with me since. My child who was about 4 months at the time my wife traveled is close to six years now and does not really know the mother. We have been making efforts to have her take the children, but that plan has not been through yet. I feel that before the end of the year something will happen. It has really been difficult for me, my patience is running out and I am missing my wife. I am really under a sort of pressure and I always feel that I am the one that should be living abroad, while she would be at home looking after the children. All together we have four children; I am the one losing out, though my wife assures me that all is still well. I have heard stories of women who went abroad and forget about their husbands. In fact, one of my relations did it. Her husband married here and took her to Britain. After some years she came back with some rubbish stories about how she divorced the husband, because he was not the person he told her he was, and before we could even know what was happening, he married another person. I really trust my wife but I am always unsettled each time I hear stories of women dumping their husbands and marring another person”.
“I am surprised you are asking me this question. In fact, I am the wrong person to talk on this issue, but I do not think that I have anything to lose if I answer the question. I began to live alone with my two sons after my first marriage collapsed some years ago. No matter how anybody would look at it, I really tried for my ex-husband. I actually did what I am supposed to keep my man and my home, but still the marriage failed. My love for my ex-husband was completely blind. If he had a fault as a person, I did not want to know. I made no demand from him. I really showed him total devotion and love. I trusted him very much and had no cause to doubt his sincerity and devotion to me. I ignored everyone in order to please my husband and when he began to change I did not realize that anything was wrong. I never believed in anybody who came to warn me about my husband’s habit of going after women. When a strange woman came to live in our home with us, I believed that she was a relation of my husband, until someone close to the family told me that she was actually my husband’s mistress. I discussed the issue with my husband in a gentle manner that nobody knew there was argument between us. The lady later left us but I did not know that my husband got an alternative accommodation for her and he gradually moved in with her. I was so shocked that I did not know what hit me. I found it hard to accept and when I tried to make peace with him he served me with divorce papers. Everybody was shocked and surprised including my relations. Some people who seemed to know what has been going on were not surprised. When I persuaded him to withdraw the divorce papers, he asked me to go and talk to his lawyers. It was for this reason that I decided not to contest the divorce suit, because it would be a waste of time. I simple moved out of our home. My family was supportive all through the period. I was able to get a new accommodation where I was living before I met Julius and remarried. The experience from my marriage seriously affected me, making me to remain single even though I remarried again. I did not hide anything from my new husband as I explained everything to him. My new husband accepted these conditions and visits us regularly, as I am still living with my children of the previous marriage. But he is hoping that one day I would change my mind. He actually spends a lot of time with us. He always complains that he is tired of living single when he has a wife somewhere in the same city. The fact is that I am a married woman still living single”.
ALSO READ: Reasons for remaining unmarried: Part 2
“You may find it difficult to believe, but the fact is that as early as before the age of sixteen, I have already started having children. I mistakenly impregnated a girl when I was the age of 15 and this act prevented me from being a priest, which my parents had hoped I would be. When this happened there was nothing anybody could do about it again. So my relations met and decided to pay the pride price of the girl and brought her to me for marriage. For this, I was dazed at the whole development as I became the jest in the community. I soon realized I would not continue my education in the same school. It was because of the social stigma and the fact that I was being made fun of by my class mates. On several occasions I tried for me to be transferred but my parents could not listen to me. For this reason, I ran away and went to the house of one of my relations, where I continued and completed my education. When the girl I impregnated put to bed a baby boy, I was not around. In fact, at the time she put to bed I was already in my 200 level at the university. I had to travel home at that time; because my parents were threatening me from home that they would cut my university sponsorship fund if I refused to come to see my son and wife. When I got home I was confronted with the reality of fatherhood. I became proud of my son and really got close to him. But I did not know what to do with the girl, which they married for me. I was very polite to her and I felt she should start thinking of returning to her parents to continue her education. I made up my mind to tell her not to waste her time with me, but I was tempted again and had to sleep with her before leaving for my university campus. My father visited me in the university to inform me that the girl was again four months pregnant and he insisted that I must have a church wedding before the girl puts to bed. I bluntly refused and the matter remained like that until about her seven months pregnancy when I went home to collect my school fees from my father”.