Voices from successful married couples: Part 1

As a matter of fact, most people have come to realize that marriage is full of fun. In fact, majority of couples, who are married, really enjoy the dividend of great and lasting marriage. But for others, they see marriage as disastrous right from the start, while for some it could be successful in one way, but with miserable patches here and there.

In fact, some people actually find themselves not suited for marriage under any circumstance, though they sometimes realize this fact after going into it, not even once but more than once.

For instance, a woman who was separated from the husband after having some children in an unsuccessful marriage was asked what made her to add so much weight of recent and her answer was, she had just discovered that with peace of the mind, everything around would start increasing, that she felt it was because of the peace of mind in her, which made her to be increasing in weight.

She went further to say; “Lots of women are under stress in their marriage and it is by having peace of mind that every other thing will fall in place”.

When asked if she was stressed up in her last marriage, she agreed she was stressed up. Again when asked if it was a rumor that she had separated from her husband. She boldly said, “It is not a rumor, it is a fact, we are no longer together, we are separated. I don’t want to be like so many other women out there who could be enduring one thing or the other in their marriage. I discovered that it is the story of many women I have met”         

That is her own story; to her she was not suited for that particular marriage. But in this chapter more emphasis is made on those who have made their marriage very successful, to the envy of others.

In fact, no matter how anybody will look at it, statistics have proven that many couples are truly in a successful marriages situation.

The interviews below bring to light, classic examples of how successful marriages should be. The couples here are identified as couple 1, couple 2, couple 3 etc. Note that the most important thing here is how much lesson you are able to learn in order to make your marriage work.  Always try to reason, think and behave in such a way that you make enough efforts to attain a successful, satisfactory and enjoyable relationship.

COUPLE 1

QUESTION: How did you meet?

HUSBAND: It could be surprising to everybody but the fact is that, I saw my wife when she was nine years old; at that time I had no instinct that she would later be my wife. At that time, I was also very young. She was staying with her aunt, who happens to be my brother’s wife for six years and I never saw her again until later when I was matured enough for marriage and was even thinking of settling down. When she visited us at home later, I was impressed with what I saw of her and her level of education, surprisingly her first question to me was if I was married. This question took me back to when she stayed with us, and I held onto it. In fact, that question kept on striking my mind after she had left. As a man, l had to take time to think deep and at the end of the day, l became very convinced that God in his infinite mercy had shown me the bone of my bone and that it was all left for me to make the next move.

QUESTION: Actually what did you see in her?

HUSBAND: l saw in her, a virtuous woman, a woman who is so spiritually close to God. In fact the moment l saw her, every other person varnished from my mind and l heard a voice saying, this is your bone and the flesh of your flesh.

 WIFE: Honestly I remember with nostalgia the six years or so, l spent with my auntie who was married into my husband’s family. The people received me with warmth and did not discriminate between their own children and every other child. They show genuine love to any one that comes their way and l have always admired the members of the family and so, when 13 years later l discovered that he was still single and searching, l did not hide my wish to be married into the family. When he proposed to me, l felt quite happy to accept because l knew that we were going to make the best out of the union.

QUESTION: What are your plans for the future?

 HUSBAND: The main key to assured or secured future is hard work, determination, focus and proper planning with total faith and trust in God. I don’t normally bother myself about tomorrow, because l am always conscious of today. If you plan today very well, your tomorrow will be a walkover. The future is very bright and blissful for us, as we are consolidating it today.

COUPLE 2

QUESTION:  How actually did you meet?

WIFE: Actually we met in the church. He was discussing with one Lady when l saw him. I liked what he was wearing and l approached him. Then l asked him if l could get it copied for a friend. He agreed and from there we became good friends. I tried the idea of fixing him up with a friend who had just broken up with his fiancé. But it did not work out. To cut the story short, one thing led to the other and before we knew it, we were inseparable.

QUESTION:  How long have you been in marriage?

WIFE:  We have been married for about seven years. On my part, l knew that was what l wanted to do then, even though we had noting. In fact by all standards we were living in no house at all, because our residence was noting to talk about. Again at that time, he was not working; he had just lost a job and was trying to find a path in life. As for me, all that did not bother me. Our families were concerned and his sister and mum kept asking us where we were going to live, because to them we were more or less homeless. They were also concerned about what he was to do in life, l was not bothered. This was because; l knew that whatever he decides would work. So l was just having fun, busy being in love and all that. I believed that what made me somewhat comfortable at that time was, first and foremost my business. I had gotten my business to the level that when people hear about me, they thought of the best of cosmetics.  To me, it was a time to move to the next level. That is, l was ready to move ahead, get married, have kids, settle down and continue to fulfill God’s plan. And by the working of the Lord Almighty, we relocated to a more decent apartment and today we are where we are now.

QUESTION:  What does the future hold for you?

WIFE: In fact I have never had any worry about the future, during our tough times as a young couple. You see, when l saw a dreamer like my husband, who had tenacity and drive to pursue his dreams, I knew immediately that there was no cause for alarm. I saw my husband as an intelligent and bright guy. And l knew whatever he chose to do; he was going to do it well. Though he was not happy with what he was experiencing at that time, but l was not moved at all. This is because as somebody standing some distance away, l was seeing things clearer than himself who was involved.

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QUESTION: So what is the secret of your successful marriage?

WIFE: The thing is that a lot of women are not submissive. Most go into marriage with the idea that they are equal with their husband, which is very wrong. I am very submissive to my husband. I give him his respect, the same way he respects me. I have studied my husband and know him very well. I know what he likes and dislikes, so l avoid them. Including the fact that we are of the same religion also helps.

QUESTION:  What do you think is the cause of marriage failure?

WIFE: My husband and l are constantly arguing about who loves who more. But even at that, we have our fights and misunderstandings. Our personalities differ so we get to react differently, l have discovered that being able to talk everything makes the difference, between the failed marriage and a successful marriage.

QUESTION:  How do you celebrate special days like the valentine day?

WIFE:  Our love is a daily celebration and not just a one day thing.

HUSBAND: My wife has said it all and that is just a representation of how far we have gone successfully in our relationship. I do not have more to say. Thank you.